Time to update OUR AWESOME PROGRESS WITH OUR FEATHER THING! There are activities for everyone at OCCUPY PORTLAND and most are either harmless or pointless! One that is really growing is OCCUPY PORTLAND FEATHER COUNCIL!
AT feather council some folks get together at our playhouse in southeast Portland and sit around and talk about SUPER IMPORTANT STUFF! But, before you just think to drop in and join us you need to know that only special people should come hang with us.
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| A special group for losers |
If you are confident, able to speak your mind, and have REALLY STRONG SELF ESTEEM this is not a group for you! TO BE A FEATHER PERSON you should be shy and insecure for starters. Like, are you the sort of dude that always got wedgies from the jocks in High School? When you are in a group do people ignore you when you are trying to speak? Do confident people use you as a butt for their jokes? ALRIGHT! IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO ANY OF THOSE WELCOME! You really should be an Occupy Portland Feather Person!
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We love our
FEATHER
STALIN! |
Only one, arrogant, pushy person is allowed to be at OUR SACRED OCCUPY FEATHER THING. That person has a sacred title: THE FEATHER STALIN! It is the duty of the Feather Stalin to make up the rules as we go, take what others say and change the meaning by 'paraphrasing' and generally be THE BOSSY BOSS OF FEATHERS! WE LOVE OUR FEATHER STALIN! Like, A GOOD FEATHER STALIN SAYS THAT HE HATES RULES, THEN MAKES UP SOME RULES! Or HE ACTS LIKE ALL ARE EQUAL THEN BOSSES EVERYONE! Since the group is SUPER PASSIVE they love him! He sets the agenda by writing all the ISSUES on a white board. During the circle he pretends to listen to what others say but THEN HE MAKES IMPROVEMENTS TO EVERY IDEA they offer so yeah he kinda puts them down! BUT THERE ARE FEEL GOODS TOO! He will tell the group how important they are, how misunderstood they are, how the circle is important because HE LOVES AND RESPECTS THEM! Is he not clever or what?????????
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Sometimes people get super duper
head aches cause the sacred thing can
do that to your aura |
The Feather Stalin comes from 'THE PLAN', which is kinda like some freaky, online stoner game! In fact, he thinks that OCCUPY PORTLAND IS SOMETHING HE PLANNED AT THE PLAN! WOW! Nobody in the group really understands 'The Plan' cause WE HATE PLANNING! I guess the plan is like a game where the real rules are super secret, so even if you get to play you never know if you are winning or losing because YOU NEVER GET TO KNOW THE RULES! Ok, some of the rules everybody knows like getting wasted and getting laid.
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| She can be real boring |
In FEATHER COUNCIL you can't talk unless you got the feather. In this way it is like playing tag, cause if you got the feather YOU ARE IT! When you talk, make sure to start your comments with something that shows you don't really know diddly like 'I MIGHT BE WRONG' or 'I'M NOT SURE' something like that. It is really important that the only person that has a strong and certain opinion is the FEATHER STALIN!
Sometimes a person by accident has a strong opinion. DON'T WORRY! Then it is time for FEATHER STALIN to say something like 'I think what you are meaning to say is' then he rephrases the whole thing in another direction! HE IS SO SKILLED THAT PEOPLE WANT TO CLAP AND APPLAUD but that would be wrong cause it would be TOO FORWARD OF THEM! Remember: only FEATHER STALIN CAN SHOW EMOTION!
Anyways, around and around the feather goes in our sacred circle, always passing to the left. People take turns AND THEN WE VOTE BY BEING SILENT! AWESOME! But OH OH sometimes there is a block! A BLOCK IS LIKE CONSTIPATION! BUT DON'T WORRY, THE FEATHER STALIN IS LIKE OUR OWN PERSONAL LAXATIVE! He makes sure the block goes away!
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Two dudes that just moved here from
Bosnia and don't know much |
By now I guess you are thinking 'ok, but what is the point of the FEATHER THING?' HA HA STUPID THERE IS NO POINT! ITS JUST ONE MORE OF OUR GAMES! It is one night a week, you know we used to have important meetings and crap every night but THEN IT WAS GETTING LAME so we don't have many important meetings any more. Instead, we do stuff like FEATHERS!
A special time comes at the end of SACRED FEATHERS! THE FEATHER STALIN says something like 'wow, I never knew before all of you were so misunderstood' or 'wow, I love you all so much!' and as you can imagine THERE ARE ALOT OF TEARS AND STUFF AT THAT POINT!
