West Coast Port Shutdown Big Secret Memo Part One

Shut Down The Port Strategy! Shhhhhh! Don’t Tell! Big Secret! PART ONE

On December 12th, Occupy Portland will join cities including San Diego, Los Angeles, Oakland and Tacoma for a West Coast Port Shutdown. We will stage mass mobilizations to march on the ports, create community pickets, and effectively shutdown the hubs of commerce. Occupy Portland’s participation in this day of action was approved by the General Assembly on November 26th with near unanimous consent.

YES! Coming up December 12, 2011 is the BIG Occupy Portland Event, SHUT DOWN THE PORT! There is some strategy to consider and maybe it is better to be real careful who knows! Dang!

The big issue is all about arrests. Let’s face it, there will be arrests! So, who should the arrestees be? The answer is the same people that always get arrested for Occupy Portland!

This time arrests might involve some really nasty treatment by ‘the man’. Dealing with homeland and port security could make our previous arrests look as calm as a muffin eating contest with Marla from the kitchen!

So, people PLEASE let’s get it together now and get all of our ducks in a row. Lets get all of our arrestees in a row too!

Of course, none of the big leaders of Occupy Portland should be arrested. NO! So, the following Occupy Portland leaders must be protected from arrest:

Adriane Ackerman

Jordan Ledoux
Alaina Melville
Jim Oliver

Sam Gibson
Kip Silverman
Owen Sanders

Raymond Allen Curtis
Micaiah Dutt
Trip Jennings
Erik Heroux
Nina Reierson
Becca Lewis
Jordan McIntyre
Dustin Hawks
Arthur Samoulis

How can we protect those more important than the rest of us? The answer is simple. When it is time for the arresting to begin, remind them to run away from the police! I know, they will probably do that on their own. HOWEVER just in case they forget to run, remind them people

So, who is going to be arrested? Like I said, the same old same old arrestees! In no particular order they are

The tribes

The drunks

The homeless

The mentally ill

Right off the bat, I can read your mind! Yes, many in Occupy Portland fit all four of those categories. For those that do, they should be right in the front when it is time to get those old zip ties around the wrists.

As usual, remind those about to be arrested of all those reasons to submit: we are your family, we really care about you, you are beautiful, we are in solidarity with you! In other words, the same old lies. Oh, and don’t forget to remind the leaders to run like hell! Remember, this is top secret ‘eyes only’ information so PLEASE don’t tell! If those unfortunate morons that we want to get arrested figure this out we are in real trouble!