Brothers and Sisters, it is time for EVOLUTION for our REVOLUTION! The Occupy Portland Elite, the managers that make all the decisions for the rest of us, have announced some REALLY COOL CHANGES to how and when we meet! The whole thing was decided in a VERY SPECIAL WAY because they knew THAT EVEN YOU SHEEP WOULDN'T GO ALONG WITH IT! Pictured below is how it happened.
One night at a meeting BIG NOSE MANAGER CHICK turned her back on the crowd and had her own private meeting! WHILE THE REST OF OCCUPY WAS OCCUPIED she announced in A REALLY SMALL, NASAL VOICE the changes then voted all by herself! Since the rest of those at the meeting couldn't hear a word she said, and didn't know that there was a vote THERE WAS 100 PER CENT CONSENSUS, THE VOTE 1 YES! But that is really cool because only things that managers want get passed anyway!
Here are some of the new rules.
There will be a VERY SPECIAL NIGHTLY GENERAL ASSEMBLY for alkys, street people, the tribes, the mentally ill and the TOTALLY HOPELESS every night under the burnside bridge! Those just listed should only go to that meeting! Make sure to go every night! It will be ok to fight, get drunk, pass out, whatever! REMEMBER IF YOU ARE AN ALKY, STREET PERSON, TRIBE MEMBER OR MENTALLY ILL ONLY GO TO THAT MEETING! In fact, please stay at that meeting site seven days a week, 24 hours a day! If we need to bring you out so that we can use you for pity and community donations WE WILL COME AND GET YOU!
For everybody else, here is OUR NEW OCCUPY MEETING PLAN! We are going to start having RAINBOW FEATHER CIRCLES! I know, many think that the RAINBOW GATHERINGS involve a bunch of crazy stoned out MOFOS getting high in the woods and trying to get into crazy same sex orgies! OK THAT IS TRUE! But, guess what? WE HAVE BEEN DOING ALL SORTS OF RAINBOW CRAP AT OUR MEETINGS ALREADY! In fact, when we occupied the parks WE WERE USING RAINBOW RULES AND TERMINOLOGY! How awesome is that! SO LET'S DO MORE CRAZY MIXED UP RAINBOW SHINIZZLE!
At some of our new meetings we will be sitting around in circles and PASSING A FREAKIN FEATHER AROUND! When you get the feather, DON'T EAT IT! Dude, the feather is SACRED! YOU WILL BE IN A SACRED SPACE WITH A SACRED FEATHER AND (hopefully) SO STONED THAT LIKE NATHAN SAYS IT WILL BE BETTER THAN WATCHING THE WHOLE MATRIX TRILOGY in one sitting. Let the spirit fill you! Let the spirit occupy you!
There will be new people that join us with our big change, and that is the reason for all this! Like the old burn out dude pictured to the left! He and other old hipsters will be our new brothers! THAT IS SO AWESOME SINCE WE ARE LOSING MEMBERSHIP ALL THE TIME! Like tonight, there were so few people at our meeting and THE MANAGERS WERE REALLY BUMMED OUT! SO, let's make the managers happy! If we are the brothers and sisters, then they are our moms and dads! If you know any old hippies in your neighborhood please tell them to come pass the feather, and pass the pipe! They will know JUST WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT! AND THEY WILL JOIN US! Just make sure they are super 420 friendly and not BOOZERS OR PEOPLE WITH STRONG OPINIONS cause people like that are just bogus. What we need are more SHEEP! We have so many important things to do, like mystic ninja battle sheep, and now is the time to bring in the replacements.
Back to Rainbow Gathering information. Like I said, so much of what we do is based on that cult! Here is a link to check out how those freaks talk. It will show you how, in so many ways, we are A RAINBOW GATHERING ALREADY!
http://www.welcomehome.org/rainbow/info/glossary.html
We will be having fewer Occupy Portland General Assemblies because those things are getting lame, only trouble-makers come, and too many of those attending smell funny! OH BUT don't forget our extra special general assemblies under the Burnside Bridge for the real losers I mentioned earlier. We will also be having fewer Occupy Portland Spokes Council Meetings because there is a danger something meaningful might get done!
So, prepare for the FEATHER CIRCLES! STAY HIGH, STAY DRY, AND DON'T CRY!
