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| Nathan! |
But, Nathan isn't just about GOOD TIMES MAN, he also has a moment of clarity at least once a week. We were lucky to catch up with him DURING ONE OF THOSE RARE MOMENTS WHEN THIS COSMIC NINJA IS BETWEEN BOWLS AND GETTING DOWN WITH THE WORD THING! Here is a little from our sit down session!
ME: Nathan, since you moved up to Portland from California you have emerged as a MEDIA SUPERSTAR! Did you imagine how good it would be for you when you moved back to Oregon?
THE BEARD: Man, I thought it would be awesome in Oregon, that is so for sure! Cali was kinda opressive and PEOPLE THERE JUST GET INTO YOUR FACE ALL THE TIME! In Oregon things are so MELLOW AND FREE. But I never knew that this media gig would come to me like it has.
ME: What is is like working with Collin, Sam, Jayne and ALL THE MEDIA HIPSTERS?
THE BEARD: Well, you know Sam is Mr. Grumpy most of the time! Like, I think he should just find a way to chill but you know he is so RELENTLESS and SUCH A BEAUTIFULWARRIOR! Jayne is cool, but she reports everything back to Sam so BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY WHEN JAYNE IS AROUND ha ha ha ha. COLLIN IS JUST LIKE YOU WOULD IMAGINE, LIKE A PIXIE SENT FROM THE GREAT SPIRIT TO BE MY INSPIRATION! I mean he is like what would happen if a Leprechan and that chick from the matrix had a kid, kinda all short and magical but SOMETIMES REALLY INTO ANOTHER COSMIC SACRED SPACE.
ME: You and Collin sat down and interviewed MAYOR SAM ADAMS recently and broadcast it on livestream. What was that like?
THE BEARD: It was so cool how we punked Mayor Sam! He is all into thinking he is like in agreement with the movement but HE THINKS OUR METHODS ARE BOGUS. So we pretended to respect him and did that interview. HA HA HA. Right after the interview the OCCUPY PORTLAND ONLINE NEWSPAPER gave it to him good! I MEAN THEY BLASTED HIM AND ALL AND EVEN USED HIS SEXUAL PREFERENCES AGAINST HIM! So, you know WE PUNKED THAT SUCKER!
ME: You and your livestream crew are so gifted and creative! WHO CAME UP WITH THE WHOLE LIVESTREAM TRIP?
THE BEARD: It is like everything else OCCUPY PORTLAND DOES, THE ELITE MANAGER GROUP TELLS US WE HAVE TO DO IT! But that is cool, man. I mean, they have the plan and they run the show! WE ARE JUST LIKE CRAZY COSMIC SHEEP but we are so into that!
ME: Are there any changes coming to OCCUPY PORTLAND FOR 2012?
THE BEARD: Yeah a manager dude was telling me the other day we have a new slogan: NEVER EXPLAIN, ALWAYS COMPLAIN, AND NEVER ADMIT BLAME!
ME: Can you tell me, what is the essence of that slogan?
THE BEARD: OH WOW! ESSENCE! That is so spiritual a word, the awesomeness of that word. ESSENCE ESSENCE ESSENCE! I mean, it is like if you took MAYBE LIKE TEN PEOPLE FROM OCCUPY PORTLAND AND SQUEEZED THEM ALL AT ONCE THEN YOU WOULD HAVE A PUDDLE OR SOMETHING. LIKE THAT WOULD BE SOME ESSENCE!
ME: What a concept! It would be like a sacred juice!
THE BEARD: RIGHT ON! Oh, wow the new slogan has like three parts. Like never explain. This is like OUR MANAGERS SAY DON'T EVER EXPLAIN ANYTHING YOU DO BECAUSE THE MAN WILL FIND OUT! So, yeah, we got to be tricky. ALWAYS COMPLAIN is like ALWAYS COMPLAIN! Like when we have a march or WHATEVER we ALWAYS COMPLAIN! We don't like march or rally to offer a solution, but YEAH WE CAN COMPLAIN REALLY GOOD! Never admit blame, that is a new part WE WERE TOLD TO REMEMBER. You know maybe sometimes we are doing stuff and something bad happens. SO WHO CARES BECAUSE IF ANYONE BLAMES US, WE JUST SAY OH SOMEBODY ELSE DID IT! Or like before the SHUT DOWN THE PORT thing some OCCUPY PORTLAND DUDES were driving to RALLY and they GOT BUSTED BY THE MAN! Like they had a stolen truck, weapons, WHATEVER. BUT HERE IS THE COOL PART WHEN WE FOUND OUT THEY GOT BUSTED WE DIDN'T GET BLAMED BECAUSE WE PRETENDED WE DIDN'T KNOW THEM!
ME: AWESOME MAN!
THE BEARD: RIGHT ON! I am sure there will be alot of stuff going down in 2012 but WE WILL NEVER ACCEPT BLAME FOR ANY OF IT! Everything is 'official' until it gets bad, the OH WELL ITS NOT SO OFFICIAL AFTER THAT! So, you know that is the last part of the slogan, NEVER ADMIT BLAME! WOW think about this, WE ARE A PEACEFUL PROTEST so if it ever gets NOT SO PEACEFUL we just blame someone else. HA HA HA HA
ME: It seems to me that you and your crew have been very lucky, you never have been arrested AT ANY OCCUPY PORTLAND THING WHERE ARRESTS HAVE BEEN MADE!
THE BEARD: Man, that is not luck! IT'S LIKE WE CAN RUN AWAY WHEN WE WANT! Like at an action Sam is really good at yelling out instructions to people, and sometimes those people get arrested! SO WHEN THEY ARE GETTING ARRESTED WE RUN LIKE HELL!
ME: That is so cool, I mean you are too important to get arrested dude.
THE BEARD: THAT IS SO TRUE! I personally am LIKE WAY TOO IMPORTANT TO GET ARRESTED! THAT WOULD BE SO BOGUS. The revolution is SO IMPORTANT MAN IT IS SO EPIC but whatever I'M NOT GETTING ARRESTED FOR SOME REVOLUTION!
