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| Larry 'Freakin Genius' Malone |
In my short interview ME (acting like a mainstream media dude) and FREAKIN got down to it. DOWN IN IT!
ME: Freakin I am SO MAJORLY HAPPY that you could take some time to talk today! First, tell me how did you get your nickname of FREAKIN GENIUS?
FREAKIN: It was last week at a OCCUPY PORTLAND SACRED FEATHER COUNCIL. Some dude was running his mouth, you know, like GETTING ALL FOOLISH AND TALKING LIKE HE WAS THE ONE PERCENT! So, I stared at him to bust up his aura and get into his sacred space. He looked at me and said 'bite off freakin genius'. THE NAME STUCK! NOW IT IS MY SACRED NAME!
ME: SWEET MY BRO! I really get off on the feather thing. IT IS SO COOL THAT WE CAN GATHER LIKE THE FOUNDING FATHERS! I have a beer cap that was blessed at the last FEATHER COUNCIL! Now when the man or a FAT CAT is like IN MY FACE I hold that cap up to him and JUST THE SACRED GLOW OF IT protects me!
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| Justin James Bridges |
ME: Freakin that is so epic! So, let's talk about some of the things surrounding shut down the ports. First, there was that BUST BY THE MAN where some OCCUPY dudes were busted on their way to the PORT PARTY in a stolen truck, with weapons, including a SWORD! Dude, a sword?
FREAKIN: Man, first they weren't OCCUPY OFFICIALLY CAUSE THEY GOT BUSTED! You know how it works, the second you get busted you are no longer official occupy! You BECOME AN AUTONOMOUS PERSON! That way, we can use you if you are cool BUT IF YOU GET BUSTED BY THE MAN OH WELL! EVEN THOUGH IT WAS THE IDEA OF THE ELITE MANAGERS GROUP THAT YOU DO WHAT YOU DID, THEY CAN'T BE BLAMED!
ME: AWESOME!
FREAKIN: Man, about that SWORD! HAHAHAHA! Don't you know stoners that carry swords are like a HUGE PART OF OUR DEMOGRAPHIC! Think about it, who will mess with a intoxicated dude with a sword! THE ONE PERCENT IS SCARED TO DEATH OF SWORDS, MAN!
ME: RIGHT ON MY BROTHER! Ok, next the mainstream press was all over us cause at OCCUPY THE PORT some worker dudes lost wages thanks to us, really close to christmas.
FREAKIN: RIGHT ON! Ok, so they lost their pay for a day. WOW! Like we all can care a little less about that! Maybe now they will hurt enough to JOIN US IN OUR REVOLUTION! ANYWAY most of those people that lost money that day weren't really DOCK WORKERS. They were fat cats and one percenters PRETENDING TO BE WORKERS. SHAME ON THEM!
ME: Yeah I heard that the one percent often pretends to be working class people by driving lift trucks and wearing oil stained coveralls. OK RIGHT ON! So, in other words nobody from the 99 per cent was hurt financially by our PORT SHUTDOWN! AWESOME!
FREAKIN: Man, that is the truth. AND I KNOW BECAUSE THE ELITE MANAGERS TOLD ME SO!
ME: OK my brother. NEXT QUESTION! People wonder why we like quotes from GANDHI. Like the quote I kinda remember...'first they laugh at you, then they give you a wedgie, then you get all like into a really awesome tantrum, then they laugh some more'. You know that quote?
FREAKIN: No man, I mean yeah i have heard that quote or something like it. VERY POWERFUL AND SACRED. But who is Gandhi? Is he that dude that stole the weed pipe from that little dude that hangs out near the starbucks at Pioneer?
ME: No, man, Gandhi! YOU KNOW MAN THE INDIAN DUDE!
FREAKIN: AWESOME MAN! I love the Indian way, it is SO EPIC and SACRED! THEY are like of the earth! WHAT TRIBE IS GANDHI FROM? WAS HE AT THE CAMP AT LOWNSDALE?
ME: NO, man Gandhi wasn't like some INDIAN from a tribe. He was like from INDIA. YOU KNOW ITS A COUNTRY IN AFRICA. I think it is pretty close to AUSTRIA.
FREAKIN: WOW THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL! Makes me wish I had some shrimp on the barbie, like they say downunder in Austria!
ME: Ok cool. Let's try another question. I was reading THE OREGONIAN on the web and there we A LOT OF COMMENTS FROM THE 99 PER CENT that were MEAN! How can we get people on our side in the revolution?
FREAKIN: WOW YOU READ? RIGHT ON!
ME: Usually I only read what the OCCUPY PORTLAND ELITE MANAGER GROUP tells me to read, but I read some stuff by accident.
FREAKIN: I FEEL YOU BRO! Like, if you read some stuff that is MEAN just ignore it! I MEAN IT COMES FROM PEOPLE THAT ARE LIKE BRAINWASHED! What were they sayin?
ME: It was like OCCUPY PORTLAND is made up of losers, idiots, stoners, you know all that stuff.
FREAKIN: DANG! SO IT WAS PRETTY TRUTHFUL. RIGHT ON!
ME: Yeah IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!
FREAKIN: MAN I am still trying to remember if I met that GANDHI DUDE! Was he at RAINBOW THIS SUMMER?
FREAKIN: Man, next year they GOT TO BRING THEIR KANGEROOS!
