Occupy Portland Gets Ready For Sacred Feather!

Brothers and Sisters TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT! Occupy Portland will host the first ever OCCUPY PORTLAND SACRED FEATHER CIRCLE at Directors Park! Pictured above is our own sacred feather. Some dude that could be either a shaman or A REALLY CRAZY MOFO has donated the feather after MAKING IT SACRED BY SOAKING IT IN SECRET SAUCE and saying the top secret magical whatever over it! THIS IS SO SPECIAL!

We are evolving into this new meeting form for two REALLY AWESOME REASONS. One, the one per cent is really scared when a group of stoners sit in a circle and GET DOWN WITH SACRED CRAP. The other reason is THE OCCUPY PORTLAND ELITE MANAGER GROUP TOLD US TO DO IT!

Really smart dude will be there!

His sacred name for tonight?
'Freakin Smartypants'!

This will be a sacred ceremony, in sacred space, with some of the REALLY COOL THINGS FROM RAINBOW GATHERING! We won't have the really hot rainbow stoner chicks running around naked, way too cold for that! But we will have A LOT OF STONERS! Right now, since we are borrowing some of the wisdom of Native Americans WE ARE TRYING REAL HARD TO GET SOME NATIVE AMERICANS TO ATTEND! So, if you know any bring them along! I realize our movement is so white that sometimes PEOPLE OF COLOR aren't comfy with us. AND there is that silly problem with OUR OWN TRIBES: THEY ONLY LIKE WHITE PEOPLE! But, tonight can't we all just get along? SO, IF YOU CAN FIND ANYBODY THAT IS EITHER NATIVE AMERICAN OR CAN FAKE IT BRING THEM!

This will be kinda like playing cowboys and indians, except NO COWBOYS PLEASE! Remember, the agressive alkys and STONE COLD DEMENTED STREET PEOPLE are to stay under the Burnside bridge for their own very special meeting! Tonight will be SACRED GOOD TIMES and we can't have that bunch of DISRUPTIVE WINKIES getting in the way of our spiritual buzz! The Occupy Portland Elite Manager Group has found some petty cash to buy those bozos a few 40's and delivery will be made UNDER THE BURNSIDE BRIDGE right before our FEATHER THING gets started.

Yes she is coming tonight and will SHARE A SPECIAL
STORY about why her glasses are so FUGLY!

Tonight EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE A MADE UP SACRED NAME! Your sacred name should be really cool PLUS something you can remember when YOU ARE SO STONED THAT REMEMBERING ANYTHING IS DIFFICULT! So, make sure your SACRED NAME is only one or two words long! Most of the really AWESOME SACRED NAMES are already taken but here are a few that you might consider for tonight:

Cowpie
Mystic Monkeyspank
Oral Aura
Bird Dick
Booger Warrior
Princess Poon

We will have special SACRED WARRIOR GUESTS TONIGHT! They are all pictured below!

Three of our OCCUPY PORTLAND PEOPLE'S ARMY were recently arrested as they GOT DOWN FOR THE PEOPLE! Tonight the first three to HOLD THE SACRED FEATHER WILL BE Eric Bowen, Jon Zook and Cameron Whitten! THESE GUYS WILL NEED EXTRA SPECIAL SACRED NAMES, SO WE WILL HAVE A SECRET VOTE BEFORE THEY SHOW UP! Already, some appropriate names are under consideration. For Cameron, the name TWINKLY WARRIOR has been suggested. For Eric, BRANIAC DUDE is under consideration. For Jon, NOOKIE ZOOKIE is a suggested choice. BUT THE FINAL VOTE WILL BE HELD AT THE SACRED SPACE!

This will be SO MUCH FUN! With sacred names, lots of weed, and our AWESOME FEATHER we will be able TO TAKE IT TO THE MAN AND REALLY MAKE THE ONE PER CENT SCARED! Like some crazy stoner said last night after DINKY WANG'S EXTRA SPECIAL DOWNTON MARCH using the feather means that PEOPLE MUST LISTEN when the person holding the feather speaks. So, even if what the speaker is saying IS REALLY STUPID OR LAME everybody has to shut up and listen! LIKE IF SOMEONE WHIPS OUT THE MOST RECENT PLAYBOY AND READS THE GOOD PARTS ABOUT THE LILO PHOTO SHOOT YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT, FOR AS LONG AS IT LASTS! Awesome! Or, like last night when DINKY WANG read and read and read and PEOPLE GOT SUPER BORED AND STARTED WANDERING OFF? This time, NOBODY CAN LEAVE!

To make sure that everbody respects the speaker, no matter what he or she says, we will be using RAINBOW CONCEPTS like SHANTI SENAS! A Shanti Sena is a peace keeper! They don't actually do anything but if SOMEBODY LOSES THEIR BUZZ and interrupts the FEATHER SPEAKER the Shanti Sena comes over AND ALMOST BORES THEM TO DEATH WITH MINDLESS NONSENSE UNTIL THEY SHUT UP! As you can guess, keeping the ALKYS at their special 'A Camp' under the BURNSIDE BRIDGE is a really good idea right now, because is some SHANTI SENA tried to shut them up those SILLY ALKYS might PUNCH OUT THE PEACE KEEPER! BOGUS!

One important thing to remember: BRING SOMETHING SOFT TO SIT ON FOR YOUR OCCU-ARSE! Directors park doesn't have any free lawn chairs or OVERSTUFFED COUCHES FOR THE PEOPLE like your mom's basement, so PEOPLE BRING A NICE BIG CUSHION OR pillow!

HEY here are the DUDES that need sacred names! Make sure to write your NAME IDEAS down before you come tonight, cause you might get into SOME REALLY SWEET INTOXICATION AT THE FEATHER THING AND FORGET HOW TO MAKE A NOTE!

Cameron Whitten

Jon Zook

Eric Bowen that silly, grumpy guss!